This past weekend we had a renewal of Precepts retreat at
the Monastery. There were folks who had accepted the Precepts in the last few
years and some who have been committed to living the Precepts since our first
retreat at the Monastery nearly thirty years ago.
During the retreat we look at and talk about each of the
Precepts. This year had a new twist. When it came to “Not to publish other
people’s faults” and “Not to extol oneself and slander others” and “Not to be
angry” people began to talk about the Precepts relative to current events in
the United States.
What the conversation roughly boiled down to was: “I get so
upset when I hear about what’s happening politically that the only way I can
not get angry and not be critical and judgmental is not to pay any attention to
what’s happening in the world.”
Oh, my. Score a bunch of points for egocentric karmic
conditioning/self-hate!
Where to begin?
First, we have the assumption that the “goal” of awareness
practice is to feel the “right way,”
and whatever we need do to achieve that goal is the right thing to do.
The equanimity the Buddha points us toward is not a synonym
for ignorance or unconsciousness. Our aim in practice is not the successful
meeting of ego’s standards for proper behavior. If I’m upset it is my best
opportunity to “be with” that upset, paying very close attention, until I’m
able to untie that karmic knot and be free of that upset. In one of our books
we use the image of putting your head in the sand and failing to realize your
bottom is waving around in the breeze! Little kids close their eyes and claim,
“You can’t see me,” but that doesn’t mean we can’t see them!
If we make ourselves feel better (be the “right” person) by
ignoring what’s happening to everyone and everything else, we play perfectly
into ego’s hand. All our attention is on the voices in conditioned mind telling
us what to do, what to say, and how to be.
The voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate
yammering on incessantly in conditioned mind would have us believe we have two
choices. 1) Be involved and be miserable, angry, upset, and depressed, or 2)
ignore everything and live in “the little bubble of safety” (as I’ve heard it
called) I can create for myself.
I would suggest Zen Awareness practice offers us a third,
powerful alternative—conscious compassionate awareness. Or as we sometimes
refer to it: Presence.
We must not be surprised that egocentric karmic
conditioning/self-hate has a plan for this as well. It takes the form of “You
need to embrace in compassion those you find so upsetting.” To that I would
say, “Yes, just as soon as you reach Buddhahood.” Jiyu Kennett would say, “With
the ideal comes the actual.” Between now and reaching the ideal we can practice
here in the realm of the actual!
What does that look like? The voices would have us believe
that being upset is proof that we’re the wrong person. “You’re angry. It’s
wrong to be angry. You need to feel bad.” But what if what’s being called anger
is actually a pushing back in an attempt to protect against deep hurt? What if
what’s going on is that you care so deeply, feel so sad and helpless and
hopeless at what’s being done to people and creatures and the planet that not
defending against that pain feels like you won’t survive?
If you can relate to that and really don’t want to fall into any
dualities, how about this as a possibility? Every time you encounter
something that feels cruel or hateful or dangerous, instead of turning away
turn toward that and acknowledge the pain you feel. Just acknowledge it. Let
yourself feel it directly. If you’re
afraid of what you feel you can acknowledge and feel that too. But above all,
remind yourself that what you’re feeling is your caring. You’re feeling
your connection to all beings. You’re experiencing the truth of “nothing
happens to you that doesn’t happen to me and nothing happens to me that doesn’t
happen to you.” We are not separate.
(A reminder: This would be greatly aided by a practice of
Recording and Listening.)
Now, when you’ve let that in, when you’ve felt the pain and
seen all that arises for you in being present for all you’re experiencing, ask
yourself this question: “What do I want instead for the world?”
In the beginning this might be quite an exploration. As time
goes on you’ll be clearer and clearer. Do you want kindness? Compassion? Love?
Respect? Appreciation?
The next step is where we enter “A Conscious Compassionate
Action Movement.” Now we get to offer the world what we want for the world. What
we offer could be as simple and immediate as doing chores with a cheerful
attitude or applying the golden rule to driving. The point is, instead of
furthering the illusion of separation, we want to stay in the process of caring
and connection. We can find a person, a place, an organization, a cause, or a
need to which we can contribute. Maybe it’s as simple as a thank you, a smile,
a kind word. Maybe it’s volunteering for something you feel is important to
support. Taking food to a shut-in, offering respite to a family with a sick
child. Perhaps you want to join a group working to accomplish something you can
see will make a difference you want to see made, signing petitions, collecting
signatures, making donations. Perhaps you help people get registered to vote,
call folks to encourage them to vote, drive people to the polls.
Remember, it’s not what, it’s HOW. All my spiritual heroes took an interest in
the world and worked to bring lovingkindness, compassion, goodness, and
generosity to the world. Did they do it through hating and judging the people
who were acting in cruel ways? No. They also didn’t do it through an attitude
of, “I just want to be a good/right spiritual person, not getting upset or
feeling angry, so I’m going to go find a cave and wait this out.”
What do you say? Shall we take all that “feeling bad” energy
and turn it into the goodness that we want for the world? Shall we prove
Margaret Mead correct once again and
“never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed it is the only thing that ever has”? Shall we refuse to hide out, attempting to
avoid the ugliness and instead choose Unconditional Love for the world and
ourselves?
If there’s interest I’d love to continue this as a
discussion. I bet among us we have thousands of ideas of ways to contribute and
plenty of support for making the contributions.
In gassho,
ch
ch
My favorite part is “remind yourself that what you’re feeling is your caring.”
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Cheri. I wholeheartedly concur! Such an important topic to address!
Gassho.
Wow. I think I’ve been waiting to read this post for years. Many thanks for offering a 3rd alternative, one beyond burying my head in the sand or feeling so much sadness, helplessness and despair.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an important discussion.
I am IN for this! Thank you for it, Eyes of Love, Project Joy, and all the pertaining associated group practice opportunities. Wow. And the October 24, 2017 Open Air starting at about 20 minutes in, is a fabulous recap of this blog, particularly for those not as familiar with practice. I'm sharing it around. Gassho.
ReplyDeleteHow does one know anger as who as opposed to authenticity
DeleteAs ego and not authenticity
ReplyDeleteBeing present with positive energy means allowing healing energy to surround us all. Only loving energy "soothes the savage beast" and we can choose to send loving energy to those who are wounded with hate. Compassion can cure.
ReplyDelete