Thursday, October 26, 2017

A Conscious Compassionate Action Movement

This past weekend we had a renewal of Precepts retreat at the Monastery. There were folks who had accepted the Precepts in the last few years and some who have been committed to living the Precepts since our first retreat at the Monastery nearly thirty years ago.

During the retreat we look at and talk about each of the Precepts. This year had a new twist. When it came to “Not to publish other people’s faults” and “Not to extol oneself and slander others” and “Not to be angry” people began to talk about the Precepts relative to current events in the United States.

What the conversation roughly boiled down to was: “I get so upset when I hear about what’s happening politically that the only way I can not get angry and not be critical and judgmental is not to pay any attention to what’s happening in the world.”

Oh, my. Score a bunch of points for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate!

Where to begin?

First, we have the assumption that the “goal” of awareness practice is to feel the “right way,” and whatever we need do to achieve that goal is the right thing to do.
The equanimity the Buddha points us toward is not a synonym for ignorance or unconsciousness. Our aim in practice is not the successful meeting of ego’s standards for proper behavior. If I’m upset it is my best opportunity to “be with” that upset, paying very close attention, until I’m able to untie that karmic knot and be free of that upset. In one of our books we use the image of putting your head in the sand and failing to realize your bottom is waving around in the breeze! Little kids close their eyes and claim, “You can’t see me,” but that doesn’t mean we can’t see them!

If we make ourselves feel better (be the “right” person) by ignoring what’s happening to everyone and everything else, we play perfectly into ego’s hand. All our attention is on the voices in conditioned mind telling us what to do, what to say, and how to be.

The voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate yammering on incessantly in conditioned mind would have us believe we have two choices. 1) Be involved and be miserable, angry, upset, and depressed, or 2) ignore everything and live in “the little bubble of safety” (as I’ve heard it called) I can create for myself.

I would suggest Zen Awareness practice offers us a third, powerful alternative—conscious compassionate awareness. Or as we sometimes refer to it: Presence.

We must not be surprised that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has a plan for this as well. It takes the form of “You need to embrace in compassion those you find so upsetting.” To that I would say, “Yes, just as soon as you reach Buddhahood.” Jiyu Kennett would say, “With the ideal comes the actual.” Between now and reaching the ideal we can practice here in the realm of the actual!

What does that look like? The voices would have us believe that being upset is proof that we’re the wrong person. “You’re angry. It’s wrong to be angry. You need to feel bad.” But what if what’s being called anger is actually a pushing back in an attempt to protect against deep hurt? What if what’s going on is that you care so deeply, feel so sad and helpless and hopeless at what’s being done to people and creatures and the planet that not defending against that pain feels like you won’t survive?

If you can relate to that and really don’t want to fall into any dualities, how about this as a possibility? Every time you encounter something that feels cruel or hateful or dangerous, instead of turning away turn toward that and acknowledge the pain you feel. Just acknowledge it. Let yourself feel it directly. If you’re afraid of what you feel you can acknowledge and feel that too. But above all, remind yourself that what you’re feeling is your caring. You’re feeling your connection to all beings. You’re experiencing the truth of “nothing happens to you that doesn’t happen to me and nothing happens to me that doesn’t happen to you.” We are not separate.

(A reminder: This would be greatly aided by a practice of Recording and Listening.)

Now, when you’ve let that in, when you’ve felt the pain and seen all that arises for you in being present for all you’re experiencing, ask yourself this question: “What do I want instead for the world?”

In the beginning this might be quite an exploration. As time goes on you’ll be clearer and clearer. Do you want kindness? Compassion? Love? Respect? Appreciation?

The next step is where we enter “A Conscious Compassionate Action Movement.” Now we get to offer the world what we want for the world. What we offer could be as simple and immediate as doing chores with a cheerful attitude or applying the golden rule to driving. The point is, instead of furthering the illusion of separation, we want to stay in the process of caring and connection. We can find a person, a place, an organization, a cause, or a need to which we can contribute. Maybe it’s as simple as a thank you, a smile, a kind word. Maybe it’s volunteering for something you feel is important to support. Taking food to a shut-in, offering respite to a family with a sick child. Perhaps you want to join a group working to accomplish something you can see will make a difference you want to see made, signing petitions, collecting signatures, making donations. Perhaps you help people get registered to vote, call folks to encourage them to vote, drive people to the polls.

Remember, it’s not what, it’s HOW.  All my spiritual heroes took an interest in the world and worked to bring lovingkindness, compassion, goodness, and generosity to the world. Did they do it through hating and judging the people who were acting in cruel ways? No. They also didn’t do it through an attitude of, “I just want to be a good/right spiritual person, not getting upset or feeling angry, so I’m going to go find a cave and wait this out.”

What do you say? Shall we take all that “feeling bad” energy and turn it into the goodness that we want for the world? Shall we prove Margaret Mead correct once again and  “never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it is the only thing that ever has”?  Shall we refuse to hide out, attempting to avoid the ugliness and instead choose Unconditional Love for the world and ourselves?

If there’s interest I’d love to continue this as a discussion. I bet among us we have thousands of ideas of ways to contribute and plenty of support for making the contributions.

In gassho,

I Never Really Embraced This Process.

A few retreats ago I had a conversation with an old, old-timer who was sliding into yet another depression. These are not the “I’m feeling down” brand of depressions, these are the ones for which medications, even hospitalizations, are prescribed. Through years of practice, medications and hospitals are no longer needed, but the depression, often more the threat/fear of depression, remains.

“What are you hearing?” I inquired.

“I just feel so sad. It feels as if I’ll never get over being so hurt and sad about my childhood. That little child who was so mistreated is still so sad.”

(Now, as many of you doubtless know, I don’t buy this for a minute, and the person I was talking to knows that, but the identification with the story was so complete there was no ability to entertain even the possibility of something other than that story being “the truth.”)

“Well, how about this?” I suggested. “Do you have a picture of that little person? A picture of you when you were that age and experiencing that abuse?”

When I got an affirmative I asked if there was interest in and willingness for helping that child. “Oh, yes,” was the immediate reply.

“Okay, here’s what you do. Step 1: Take out those pictures and put them where you can see them all the time. Make some copies if you need to so you can have one on the bathroom mirror, the dashboard of the car, by your bed, on the back of your phone; everywhere you can think of to make this child a constant part of your daily life experience. Step 2: Begin to talk to her. Tell her you like having her in your awareness, that it’s fun to see her face, that you like having her around. Begin to include her in what you do—folding the laundry, cooking, going for a walk, taking a bike ride. Talk with her about what you’re seeing, take pictures, draw pictures, make recordings. Yes? She’s your companion. And, as you do this she will become more real to you as an actual person rather than the subject of stories in the head. Soon she will begin to communicate with you. Okay?”

Once again a willing “yes.”

“Good. Now there will be tremendous resistance to this from the voices in conditioned mind. So, to head them off, will you text me each day and give a report about how the two of you are doing?”

“Yes, I will.”

For one month I got a text every day giving reports on drawings and bedtime stories and recovered memories and making recordings and listening to them….

A few days ago I got this text:
At first I thought this project was to ‘rescue’ a sad, hurt child. But she’s not sad AT ALL and the hurts pass so quickly. I NEVER REALLY EMBRACED THIS PROCESS UNTIL NOW.

And this morning:
I woke up this morning really wanting to live Life today. Happy danced through my morning check-in even.

This from a person who, before beginning this process was facing another historically suicidal depression.

If you are not “really wanting to live Life today, if you’re not happy dancing through your morning check-ins,” please “REALLY EMBRACE THIS PROCESS.”

Instead of leaving somebody in the grip of the unconscious self-hatred that perpetuates an illusion of separation and results in suffering, move into conscious compassionate awareness and embrace that person into Presence.  The karmically conditioned impulse is to stay in identification with ego, dread and resist the experience we are having, wish it were different, and want it to go away rather than doing the work that transforms the experience.


Thursday, February 2, 2017

2017 “Project Joy” Kickoff Blog

After the Video Kickoff Workshop, I decided to write a blog addressing how we can practice in times that could seem to make practice irrelevant. I became even more committed after hearing from a few folks in the aftermath of the election that they’re struggling with a recent Peace Quote:

Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you do not understand it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!
- Swami Vivekananda

Perhaps the most difficult task for us spiritual aspirants is to understand intellectually, and then to “grok,” that ours is a nonseparate reality. The difficulty is that the shift from separate to nonseparate is the movement from the dualistic world of the intellect to the intuitive, experiential world of spiritual understanding.

The Buddha teaches that suffering is a fact of Life, there’s a reason we suffer, there’s a way to end suffering, and it’s possible to end suffering in this lifetime. He tells us that hate will never overcome hate; only love will overcome hate. We are to radiate boundless love to the entire world without ill will or enmity. Just as a mother would protect her only child with her life, we are to cultivate a boundless love toward all beings. 

If we accept that as true, what are we to do if someone is not meeting our standards, is not being the way we know they “should” be, is in our view cruel, greedy, selfish and scary?

Aldous Huxley masterfully demonstrates what he and others called The Perennial Philosophy by quoting mystics from every religious and spiritual tradition describing the same experience. None of these mystics were speaking of dogma, though they spoke in the language of their tradition. They described their practice and what they realized in moments of union with the Divine.

Here’s a bit of Huxley’s synopsis of what he calls the Ground of Being or the Divine Ground (also called That Which Is, That Which Animates, the Mysterious Fact, Buddha Nature, True Nature, Authenticity, God):

Any event in any part of the universe has as its predetermining conditions all previous events in all parts of the universe. (As we say it, you are the sum total of everything it has taken to produce you since before the beginning of beginningless time.)

1. The phenomenal world of matter and of individualized consciousness—the world of things and animals and even gods—is the manifestation of a Divine Ground within which all partial realities have their being, and apart from which they would be non-existent.

2. Human beings are capable not merely of knowing about the Divine Ground by inference; they can also realize its existence by a direct intuition superior to discursive reasoning. This immediate knowledge unites the knower with that which is known.

3. Humankind possesses a double nature, a phenomenal ego and an eternal Self, which is the inner human, the spirit, the spark of divinity within the soul. It is possible for a human, if s/he so desires, to identify with this spirit and therefore with the Divine Ground which is of the same or like nature with the spirit.

4. Humankind’s life on earth has only one end and purpose: to identify with the eternal self and so come to unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground of all existence.

As the Buddha phrased it, one who experiences oneself in all of Life sees oneself in all beings.

My teacher used to marvel that people would settle for believing something (that unity with the Intelligence That Animates is possible) that can be known. That we are each and all manifestations of the power of Life that shapes all life is something we human beings can “know,” not intellectually, but experientially. Wisdom animates all of us and is the force of this power, the mystic energy pouring into the field of time and space.

Conditioned mind, the mind that thinks, believes, and assumes, becomes so involved in concepts, in ego-driven fears and doing that the energy of wisdom cannot flow. The energy is blocked and we are tossed into a faux “reality” of ego’s making, lost in an incessant conversation of what I need, what I want, what I’m afraid of, how it should be, what’s wrong—and the suffering is ceaseless. 

The Buddha taught that it’s possible to “cultivate the conditions” for wellbeing. It is the conditioned habit of attending to unwholesome states of mind, to the negativity of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, which is the primary obstacle to awakening. Our practice is to replace that by attending to what is wholesome, to what is so in the present. The Buddha identified some wholesome acts: taking action, bearing witness, not knowing, generosity, stillness, compassionate speech, and not opposing evil.

Attending to “what is so in the present” is extremely challenging for conditioned human beings because the assumption is that “what is so” is what “I” (the illusion of an ego that is separate from Life) perceives as so—and that is not so!

And, here’s where it gets even stickier: Our practice is to first embrace all that arises as we perceive it. We are learning to change our perception from ego’s “how it should be” to Life’s “how it truly is.” We are practicing turning attention away from the beliefs and assumptions held in a dualistic conditioned mind and to witness Life from the awareness of wisdom, love, and compassion rather than the limited perspective of “me.” 

So was Swami Vivekananda being hard on us? Was he being judgmental and harsh, blaming us for what happens to us in our lives? Is he saying that what’s happening in the world right now—what we perhaps see as cruel and hateful—is good and holy and beautiful and there’s something wrong with us if we don’t see it that way?

Looking at the world from a dualistic viewpoint, there seems to be much more cruel and hateful than good and holy and beautiful. After all, there are real victims. Not everyone has the same chance. It’s easy to be grateful and optimistic if you have all the advantages. What about the people who don’t have enough to eat? What about those living where bombs are falling? From ego’s perspective—looking at content rather than process—surely that appears to be the case.

Years ago I read a story told by Peace Pilgrim: When the Allied troops liberated Buchenwald concentration camp, the scene they encountered was hideous, heartbreaking, and unbelievable. As they moved through the camp getting medical care to the survivors, they were assisted by an energetic fellow with long, drooping mustaches. No one knew who he was, and there wasn’t time for introductions, so among themselves they just referred to him as Wild Bill, after Wild Bill Hickok. When everyone had been given all the care they could be offered at the time, some of the soldiers questioned Wild Bill about who he was and how long he’d been in the camp. He told them he’d been there from the opening of the camp. They were amazed, even doubted him, as he was robust and in both good spirits and good health. This is the story he told: He was an attorney living in a small town in Poland with his wife and five children. Because he spoke several languages, when the Nazi’s came through they used him as an interpreter. He was kept alive and made to watch as they killed everyone in the town, including his wife and children who were placed against a wall and shot. In that moment he “saw” the horror that ignorance and delusion can inflict, and it came to him in a moment of awakening that he had two choices. He could either live with the hatred he felt in his heart and become like those who had just destroyed all he loved in the world, or he could live the difference he was able to see and choose to love unreservedly everyone he encountered for as long as he lived. From that clarity he cared for his fellow prisoners, offering what help he could, until the liberators arrived.

If you don’t see God in the next person you meet, where do you hope to see God?
--Mahatma Gandhi

So, where does this leave us? How do we apply our understanding of this possibility? How do we live the difference we know is possible? We can take action as the Buddha encouraged. We can bear witness. If we choose, we can let our legislators know our wishes. We can call, write letters. We can be generous, get involved with groups working toward change we’d like to see in the world. If no one is taking on something we care about, we can start a non-profit to address the need! In a word: participate. Participation does not require us to hold opinions (as the Hsin Hsin Ming warns us “do not chase after enlightenment, only cease to cherish opinions”) or to use language that lacks compassion or to identify “evil” and then oppose it. We support and aid. Above all, we hold everyone and everything in the unconditional love and acceptance that we all wish for ourselves no matter how wrong-headed we may be in any given moment!  We can he humble enough to realize and admit that we don’t know, and that complaining and criticizing is not a path to liberation encouraged by any tradition!

I don’t know about you, but I often wonder if the reason we get so upset when we witness negativity, when we hear judgmental, intolerant, and hateful words and see those same attitudes in behaviors is because those “external” words and behaviors put us in touch with the same in us. I could only laugh when it dropped in how prejudiced I am against prejudiced people! What I’d been clinging to is that “they” are prejudiced against the wrong people (innocent people), while I am prejudiced against the people who truly deserve judgment! Really? Doesn’t take a lot of scrutiny to get to “it’s not what, it’s how.”

When lost in the “I’m right” of the dualistic world of conditioned mind, we all believe we are correct in our assessment and those other people are simply stupid, deluded, wrong, or probably evil. They think that about us, we think that about them, and the world of egocentric karmic conditioning chugs happily along.

As students of awareness, seeking clarity and liberation, choosing lovingkindness and compassion, we can get as engaged, active, and involved as we like—and we can do that from love. The burden I suspect Swami Vivekananda is asking us to throw back on ourselves is to find in our hearts the unconditional love that is the difference we know. When we find that love in our own hearts, we realize that is the love that animates all beings, and that we each have the opportunity to choose that love in each moment—even as Wild Bill did, in truly horrific circumstances.

We have no ability to influence that choice in someone else; we do have the ability to make that choice for ourselves. If we don’t choose, how can we blame anyone else for not choosing? There’s much debate about the origin of the quote, but the sentiment is sound: If not me, who? If not now, when?

In gassho,