Leo Tolstoy said, "I often feel that a
plain truth wants to pass through me and demands to be expressed by me, but
that I still have not been able to cast it in the most intelligible form. This
truth is stupidly simple: it is better for people to live not each for himself but
for all, as God wants it. Maybe I’ll be able to say it..."
I know that feeling well. Such a simple
“truth.” So difficult to communicate—and to live!
When we’re confronted with a possibility,
egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate often goes into a debate of should
I/shouldn’t I? In awareness practice the guidance is simple: always say yes.
We say
yes because
of what we’re going to see from
the process of saying yes.
What we are saying yes to is the revelation,
the clarity, that will be glimpsed through the yes and in the aftermath of the
yes. We are never saying yes to the
content. The clarity we receive is through the process of letting go all
that stands in the way of being at one with Life in each moment. Yes is the
oneness; no is the separation.
As Rumi said it, “Your task is not to seek for
love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you
have built against it.”
With some regularity in a workshop or retreat a
participant will say to me some form of, “I’ve been in the present and the
present is miserable.” My response is, of course, “That’s not the present we’re
talking about.” What the person has done is look to conditioned mind for an
experience of present moment; then, conditioned mind read off a list of
everything wrong in their life, concluded for them that the present stinks, and
let them know that if the Buddha’s present didn’t stink, well, that’s just more
proof that “there’s something really wrong with you.”
When Joseph Campbell talks about following
one’s bliss or we talk about being lit up, being happy, or having fun, those
are not the bliss, light, happiness, or fun of ego-identity. We’re not talking
about finally getting that job or partner or child or house or car and feeling
“Thank goodness, it’s about time my life turned around, now I can start living
the life I’ve always wanted.” That’s not bliss. That’s not being happy. That’s a
temporary visit to the “Oh, goody” side of the duality of I win/I lose. It’s
the rush of being on the up side of ego’s dualistic teeter totter, and though
the voices of conditioned mind can often convince a person that “this time it’s
gonna last,” in our more lucid moments we know the drop is coming.
We are conditioned to believe that our life
experience, how we feel, is the result of external circumstances. “When I get
X, Y, or Z, I’ll be happy.” “I can’t be happy unless _____ happens.” But that
is simply not true. And, again, most of us in moments of clarity know that.
Bliss, happiness, wellbeing, satisfaction,
gratitude, joy is a “place,” a state, an orientation—it’s what it feels like to
be at one with Life. We “pursue” that
state not by attempting to fulfill ego’s desires through saying yes to ego; we
fulfill our heart’s desire to return to oneness with Life by saying no to
ego.
In a moment of removing attention from
ego-identity’s constant demands, the barriers fall away and we are HERE. We are
present in Life without even the thinnest veil of an “I.” The veil drops and there is only THIS. Only
NOW. No me, no it, no past, no future—not even a thisherenow! Just ….
“No” keeps the veil in place; “yes” drops the
veil.
Our egocentric, karmically conditioned habit is
to encounter something (read, heard, seen, noticed being dropped into
awareness), look to conditioned mind for an opinion, get a no, and say no to
this new encounter.
As we know, ego-identity maintains itself in
opposition to Life. It is the illusion of being separate from Life. “No” is how
it does that.
How, then, will we get to the bliss we “say” we
want? (Say is in quotes because the primary way suffering is maintained is by
believing what ego says we want and failing to notice that ego says yes to
everything that will prevent the fulfillment of that desire and no to
everything that would lead to the fulfillment of that desire.)
Living in the gratitude, joy, and satisfaction
the heart desires is as simple as a yes. The secret to having all we “truly”
(truly is in quotes because it’s pointing to what authenticity is moving
toward) want is a simple yes. Yes to everything. Yes to every suggestion, idea,
possibility that Life drops in our path.
Each time you see/hear yourself reacting to
something “new” coming your way with a “no,” stop, remember what your heart
desires and turn that no into a yes. Do the voices immediately go into violent
revolt? Are they screaming about how you can’t do that and what an awful idea
it is and how you’ll be sorry? Or, perhaps they’re making a cogent argument
that “that’s really not you, you’re not that kind of person, you really don’t
want to say yes to that.” Good. You know you’re on the right track!
Life is a workshop. Well, actually, it’s a very
long retreat. If we’re paying attention, as the old sage told us, everything
will enlighten us. If we live in the “no” of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate,
we will just suffer through it. (One big hint here is that “no” requires a lot
of arguing and case-building in conditioned mind, whereas, once you get the
hang of it, a yes just produces a smile and a little thrill of excitement,
knowing the next workshop is beginning.)
Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t offer a
little caution that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate will attempt to
use this to its advantage. It would like to convince you that saying yes means
quitting your job or leaving your spouse or buying that big house you really
can’t afford. Please don’t fall for that. (Of course, you can always say “yes,”
knowing you’re not actually going to do anything crazy!)
As a Sangha we have a wonderfully simple, safe,
risk-free way to practice yes—with practice. Meditate, Record and Listen, call
in to Open Air…. When ego says “no,” (you don’t have time, you’re too busy,
you’ll make a fool of yourself, no one wants to hear from you), turn that no
into a yes. If you have doubts, ask. I’ll be happy to assist in getting clear
as to whether you’re getting a reaction from ego or a response from the heart.
And, if you get a great storm of “NO!” at that suggestion, you’ll know it’s a
YES!
In gasshÅ,
Cheri
